Mazatlan, Mexico

It's been a while since I've posted anything so I figured it was time to crack my fingers and get to work. I, along with six others, recently took an 8 day vacation to Mazatlan, Mexico to celebrate my best friends 40th birthday. It was a much needed getaway from work and beautiful change of scenery. Here are the Good, Bad and Ugly from my vacation:

• Good: Pool volleyball can never be played too much. Its weird that I seem to always find a way to play either beach or pool volleyball on every vacation...Unexpected all-inclusive vacations are pleasant surprises...Beautiful golf course on the resort...Great weather.
• Bad: The only negative on the entire trip was an unfortunate, and racial-appearing motivated, incident in the breakfast buffet we ate at almost every day. Long story short, a no tanktop policy apparently only applied to me despite a number of other, non-black, men and women wearing tanktops. Very unfortunate.
• Ugly: Ugly would have to be the first night in Mexico where, after drinking Tequila and Tanqueray on the flight from Philly to Phoenix, I consumed an entire bottle of cabernet on the flight from Phoenix to Mazatlan. Once in Mazatlan (after tipping each stewardist $20) I consumed an unknown number of margaritas and then tried to teach a 4 year old boy how to say f**k. After asking a few times, "are we going to sleep", my friends left me on a beach chair by the pool where I slept for a few hours covered with towel. Upon returning to find me unmoved, they assisted me up to my room where I was able to undress myself and hop in bed naked. Some time later I was awaken by my best friend projectile vomiting on the floor between our beds. On a good side, I was still able to get up and golf at 8AM the next morning.

Overall, I'd recommend Mazatlan, Mexico; although I don't know if I can recommend the resort after what happen in the one restaurant on the resort. I do want to head back out West in the next couple of months. It was an enjoyable experience.

You can be the strange one. Yes you can!

Today with a TheraFlu hangover, 4 hours of sleep, a stomach full of tea, and a 13 hour day in front of me, I'm entertaining myself (and I guess you) by coming up with a list of things you can do to pass the time. This is my original list and to the best of my knowledge none of these items have appeared on any list before in any circulation. If that proves to be untrue, please let me know and I'll remove it. Here goes....

10 Things You Can Do to Entertain Yourself at Work

1. Yell from your office, or desk, "That's what I'm talking about! Hell yea!". When someone comes to find out what the fuss is about say, "I did a spell check and it didn't find any errors".

2. Go into the bathroom and pull enough toilet paper from the roll to stick down the back of your pants/skirt/dress and drag about 5 feet behind you on the floor. When someone alerts you to your "trail", tell them that you were just thinking ahead. If they give you a blank stare, lean in and say, "its better than spotting"

3. Before you go to work, buy two 12-packs of dentyne gum. In front of one or many people, pop out all 12 pieces and put them in your mouth. Chew for a few seconds and then pretend to check your breath. Look disappointed in the smell and pull the second pack out of your pocket. Start popping some pieces out into your hand and then look up to see who's looking. Act secretive and walk away.

4. Ask the secretary for one paper clip. A few minutes later, go back and ask her for one more paper clip. Repeat until she offers more. Decline and take just one more. Return every few minutes to ask for another one. Keep assuring her that you wont be back for another.

5. When someone who annoys you at work is printing something the same time you are and the printer is out of paper, reload the paper one sheet at a time. If they voice their displeasure at your pace, point to the note from management/facilities/other instructing that paper be loaded one sheet at a time until further notice (you printed this earlier).

6. Randomly walk past someones desk and ask, "Are you heading to that meeting?". Before they answer, keep walking (works best by a door). As you're walking away say, "I'm on my way there now. See you there". If they follow you, head to the bathroom.

7. Tape two pennies to a post-it note and write "Thanks anyway" on it and leave it on someones desk you can see or hear from where you are. Claim ignorance if they ask who left it there.

8. Put strips of double-sided tape under a person's mouse on their desk and see how long they struggle to move it.

9. Take a bunch of paper clips and form the words "We're watching you" on someones desk. After they freak out, let them in on the joke (optional).

10. Put a ring tone of a long, loud fart on your phone and tape it under a random chair in a meeting you are in before people come in. Have a friend call you 15 minutes into the meeting and watch what happens.

If you try any of these, post the result.

*** Not responsible for termination and/or other consequences of trying this at your place of employment. Try at your own risk! ***

Picture Perfect

So I finally did it. It took a little convincing before I pulled the trigger, but I finally did it. I finally bought a new camera. A Nikon D60 Digital SLR (Camera Promo). My current camera, a Canon Powershot, just wasn't cutting it anymore. It had been to too many sports games and weddings and parties and it simply just wasn't cutting it anymore. So now that I finally bought something off my "to get" list, spending a good amount of money for the camera, lense, lense protection kit and, once the camera arrives, a camera bag, I have to start shooting. I used to have a SLR almost 10 years ago and would go randomly around the city taking pictures trying to find beauty, facination and/or uniqueness in everything. So in my free time, I'll probably do that again. A friend of mine suggested I start doing weddings and other events (which can be a nice side gig LOL), so we'll see what happens once I get my camera in a few days and start going crazy. I'll post my pictures on my Picasa page and make them public (View My Galleries Here).

Got any ideas? Let me know :-)

Chef Boy-R-D

So last night I had the first of many dinners to come with one of my friends. In my effort to one day open a restaurant, I'm inviting my family and friends to come over and have me cook for them. I want to create dishes that will go along with the theme of my restaurant idea. Last night one of my best friends, Gerri, came up from the DC area for what turned out to be a late evening dinner (and a near death experience LOL). On the menu (literally a menu) was a follows:

• Seared and baked Salmon
• Spinach
• Cheese potatoes au graton
• Flaky, buttery biscuits
• A mixed green salad with shredded carrots, red, yellow and orange peppers and seedless cucumbers
• Hot apple pie topped with vanilla ice cream
• White wine

The sauce for the salmon was a creation I made (no I wont share) and lathered the salmon in prior to baking. The meal was highly complimented, however I'll let G comment on the dinner. Next up will probably be something more Italian and more complex. I love creating things in the kitchen. Hopefully more friends will join me soon. Sign up below!!! LOL

The Big Day

Tomorrow, I will rise at 5AM to stand in line by 6:15 at my polling place so that I ensure that my vote will count. You should to. This post will be short, because I believe the message is simple. GO VOTE! We all have our beliefs in who we deem a viable presidential candidate. Regardless of whether you, who is reading this, agrees with my choice, the choice of your family and friends, or anyone else in this country, YOUR vote counts! Your family needs you. Your friends need you. And your country needs you.

Phinally!!!

My Phillies Phinally did it! Philly Phinally has a champion in my conscious lifetime!!!

Today is the parade. I actually can say that word now, parade. In a change from the norm, I'll be blogging all day events as they happen from my iPhone. Enjoy!

7:45 AM:
The alarm clock/telephone goes off. I suddenly feel like I could seriously use an alcohol-free, sleep embellishing day. Snooze x 3...

8:23 AM:
The adjuster from my car insurance calls, but I'm in the shower. He probably wants to setup a time to come look at the damage to my car from the night the Phillies won the Championship. I call him back 3 minutes later, leave a message.

8:46 AM:
The adjuster calls back. We set up a time for Monday.

8:54 AM:
I'm out. Heading to my best friend Julie's house to start drinking. Yeah!!!

9:20 AM:
Pulling into WaWa to get a quick bite and a drink. My friend, and former co-worker Tony calls. Wants to meet up at the Link. Shit!!! I forgot the tickets!! :-(

9:22 AM:
Heading back home...

9:34 AM:
Back home. Tickets retrieved. Back on the way to Julie's.

10:03 AM:
Arrived at Julies. Filled up the flask with Tequila. Heading out.

10:43 AM:
At the beer drive-thru. There are like 6 beer choices in can. We settled on Pabst Blue Ribbon. Are you serious??!! Well it is a 2006 gold medal winner...god I need to get drunk. YEAH PHILLIES!!!

11:11 AM:
Finally found parking near the art museum. Now the long walk begins...

11:17 AM:
Stopped for a Julie bathroom break...

11:20 AM:
Heading towards JFK Blvd again. We might make it for the start of the parade and the end at the stadiums!

11:35 AM:
The over under on us running out of beer is 2:15 PM. I think I'm going to go with the under LOL. We're at 20th and JFK. Crowds are getting crazy!!! Frank just called me. It's nuts!!!

12:48 PM:
We've been underground on the subway for the last hour and there's tons to share:
1. The crowd in center city was nuts. Cops blocked off a roof where fans had climbed up. It was crazy.
2. There was a cop, as we headed to the subway, that said, "look for the guy in the Phillies tee-shirt" on his radio. Are you kidding me? Good luck finding him.
3. Of all the people to run into, julie runs into probably the one person she would most not want to see and I run into someone I know. 2 million people. How does that happen?
4. We jumped the Septa line to get on the train because it was just way too long and confused.
5. That train was unbelievably hot. OMG. Dressing in layers, not good for Septa subways.
6. Everyone wanted a picture with my sign. I became the resident subway photagrapher LOL.
7. Blowing a horn on a train is so fucking annoying. Seriously, quit with the fucking horn already!!!
8. A kid picked a booger and then gave me a high five. Strangely enough, I was ok with it.

I can't believe we're getting a parade!

1:39 PM:
We just spent the last 1/2 hour having people take pictures with my sign. We're finally in the link. The crowd is MASSIVE!! Those sausages smell do good!

1:53 PM: So we just snuck into the club level. This is amazing! We get lost finding our seat and wind up in the club level LOL. We're waiting for a sausage because we are sssoooo hungry. We gave away 4 beers before we went in because we thought they would check our bags. But they didn't even check our COOLER BAG. UGH...We digress. THANK YOU PHILLIES!!!!

2:41 PM:
Tough getting a data signal. We're waiting for the Phillies to get here. Last update, they were at Pattison Ave. We are front row of the club section we snuck into LOL. It's a sea of red. I keep using this word, but it's so true. Amazing.

3:54 PM:
Man it's tough getting a signal. Finally got a good one. I have so many pics to share. We heard Charlie, Moyer and Victorino speak. The crowd at the link was great. Again, the sign was hott. We were stuck about 10 minutes with people taking pics. I love my city!!!

4:24 PM:
So, with people waiting over 2 hours to get in Chickies N Pete's, I got us in right away because Julie had to drop a duece. After we got in, Julie found us a great spot (FRONT ROW TO THE JUMBO SCREEN) and we watched the celebration at the Bank from there. We might head to the Sixers game because ANYTHING Phillies gets you in for $10. I'll keep posting as long as I can. Battery at less than 10%...

4:53 PM:
I can't believe, of all people, Chase said the words, "World Fucking Champions". This is everything that Philly wanted, needed, begged for, and more. Phinally, we got one. How good does this feel?...

6:51 PM:
So, I just left a cab and got into my car. I tried to put what I saw today into words. This city swallowed the joy and pride and celebrated a city, A CITY, winning a championship! This day has been a day that I will never, ever forget. I've gotta work tomorrow at 6 so I'll probably be going straight to bed. But for anyone who couldn't make it, hopefully I have given you enough to feel this day and what we have experienced. I love this city. I love sports in this city. And I love that I was able to experience not only being there live for the World Series winning strike out, but experiencing this today.

Pictures to come...

Rules are hereby laid out

I can't take it anymore! I just can't. I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so (get the point yet), so, SO sick and tired of crappy drivers. I was spoiled for the one week I was in Europe with considerate, skilled and fast drivers. Also, they have ordinances that keep all trucks and buses to the far right of the road and throttle their speed to 55 mph. If a trucker or bus driver is caught manipulating his vehicle to go over 55 or if he is caught going faster, that person loses their license to drive FOR LIFE. Now that's some incentive to drive carefully.

The most important part of my spoiling in Europe were the driving styles. Fast to the left, everyone else outta the way; that simple. If someone was coming up on your tail you get out of the way. Forcing someone to tap their brakes or flash their lights is offensive and rude driving; and it simply doesn't happen that often.

This morning on my way to work, at 5:30, some jerk decides he wants to control the flow of traffic by not moving out of the left lane, speeding up to prevent others from passing him and driving less than the speed limit. I can honestly say that I had to restrain myself from committing vehicular homicide. But my innate sense of human, and my own, preservation prevailed. But it has reminded me of a post I've wanted to do for a long, long time; a proposal for Driving Policies and Etiquette in the US. Here goes:

U.S (or PA at least) DRIVING POLICIES:

Drivers will be required to re-take a driving test, at a $35 fee, for the following reasons:

1. Driver is involved in a moving accident 2 or more times within a 5 year period.


2. Drivers' License is reinstated from a rightful suspension.


3. Every 7 years a driver is less than 55 years of age from the year the original license was issued.


4. Every 3 years a driver is 55 years or older, up to 69 years of age (at a senior discount rate)


5. Every year a driver is 70 years or older, for the rest of the drivers life (at a highly discounted or free rate).


6. Driver is involved in any moving accident where damage to property exceeds 10K.


7. Drivers license expires for any reason.

U.S (or PA at least) DRIVING ETIQUETTE:

The following shall be the proper driving etiquette for all drivers:

1. All trucks, buses, RVs, cars with trailers and other large vehicles shall drive in the farthest right lane only. The exception is to pass another vehicle in that farthest right lane.


2. All vehicles whose speed is at or lower than the speed limit shall drive in the lane(s) to the right of the leftmost lane. Exceptions are single lane roads and two lane roads where a vehicle is passing.


3. Any vehicle who finds that another car rapidly closing the distance behind the vehicle shall make every effort to move over to the next lane to the right of its current position such that the move is safe and does not cause said vehicle to decrease its own speed. Exceptions include single lane roads and situations where the vehicle cannot move over due to other vehicles, so long as the vehicle is at or above the posted speed limit.


4. At no time shall a driver intentionally not move their car, per items 1 thru 3, when adequate and safe conditions exist.


5. At no time shall a driver "tailgate" another vehicle who, with good judgement, cannot move their vehicle in accordance with items 1 thru 3; except in the case where the vehicle is in violation of item 4.


6. All vehicles in the left most lane shall maintain a minimum speed matching the posted speed limit.


7. At no time shall a vehicle rapidly change lanes such that the actions endanger other vehicles.


8. Passing a car implies that the car was not moving at a high enough speed. It is therefore forbidden that a vehicle pass a car and simply maintain, or reduce, the vehicles speed as it relates to the car the vehicle just passed.


9. Any vehicle in an approaching high-speed merge (HSM) lane must make every effort to move their vehicle one lane away from the HSM lane prior to reaching it, such that it is safe to do so and does not violate items 2, 4, 6 or 7.


10. At no time shall a vehicle travel on marked shoulders or between cars, or in marked exit only lanes to circumvent traffic delays, except as directed by traffic officials.
    

I think these listed policies and etiquette items are valid and easy to implement, and would introduce more cash into DOT systems through the driving tests. Driving should be an enjoyment, not an annoyance. Road Rage comes about from people violating driving etiquette; it's that simple. If you don't know how to drive, are scared of driving or simply are an ass, do us all a favor and play back-seat driver and carpool. Driving would be so much better for us all...

Wet Your Whistle Wednesday - Vol.1 Issue 1

So today I'm beginning a new edition on Dave's Thoughts called Wet Your Whistle Wednesday which will provide you various alcohol flavor recommendations for you to savor. From my favorites, to drinks I sample while taking in the single, (er hem) 30 year old entertainment and nite life, while traveling, or that I enjoy from the comforts of my couch. When possible, I'll post (with permission) a picture of the bartender who made the drink, the club/restaurant/bar where the drink was served and or the drink itself. I'll provide a rating based on the following:

1. Alcohol Taste Density (ATD): How much can you taste the alcohol in the drink. 5 stars for high alcohol taste. 1 star for a fruity drink.
   
2. Drink Impact (DI): How many of the drink does it take for me to get a good buzz? 5 stars for 1 drink or if the DI is what I call a "Whoa" drink; you know, you drink a few because they taste like watermelon water ice and 20 minutes later, you have a hard time standing. 1 star if they are so lite, or watered down, that after a good number of drinks you want something different. This can also happen if there is too much ice in the drink; I'll get to that rating item later.....


3. Drink Quality (DQ): How tasteful is the drink? Does it taste like a cherry dipped in gasoline because the bartender mixed it wrong? This is how well I am likely to order another one of these drinks or recommend this drink to someone I know would order this "kind" of drink. 5 stars for a great tasting drink. 1 star for a crappy drink. 1 star should be hard to get with a bartender in a quality place.


4. Intangibles (I): Do you hate lime, yet your drink keeps coming with lime in it? Is the bartender smoking hot? Is the bar a dive bar you wouldn't risk getting so drunk that you might find yourself barefoot in? Are you at a strip club? This is an experience rating. Crappy service, dirt stains get you 1 star. Hot bartenders, great service gets 5 stars.

Ratings 1 & 2 will always be presented.
But 3 & 4 may not be applicable all the time.

The inaugural edition of Wet Your Whistle Wednesday starts with my favorite drink, Rum and Coke. This isn't just any rum and coke; it's a Captain Morgan Private Stock Rum and coke. This goes great to start the night off at a club or if you are sitting at home on the deck on a cool fall night with a fire going. My favorite way to make a rum and coke is as follows:

• 1/3 glass of ice


• 80% Captain Morgan Private Stock Rum


• 20% Coke


• Lightly shaken with a lime
  (BUT REMOVE THE LIME BEFORE SERVING!)

Made properly, a rum and coke will warm your belly and stoke your mind; making relaxing second nature. If you're in the club, you'll find "captain courage" will soon have you kicking game to the hottest women in the place or out on the dance floor performing moves you didn't know you could even do. If you're home, you'll be listening to the firepit send crackle after crackle from its core as you blow cigar smoke into the air. The captain will take care of you, but don't abuse him. He'll rock your boat faster than you can say "Iceberg dead ahead!!"

Captain Morgan Private Stock Rum & Coke Rating:

Alcohol Taste Density:
Oh, you'll taste a well made rum and coke. If it tastes like you're drinking a coke at a family barbeque, send it back and get it made right. It should also have a whisper of lime tailing each sip.

Drink Impact:
A few of these and you'll be buzzing pretty good. If you want a real kick, get a "double rum & coke". Well made, it should boost it to a 90-10 drink and both ATD and DI will be a pulsating 5 stars. But hold on to something. A few too many and someone will be yelling "man overboard!". And I promise the next splash you hear will be the sound of chunks landing - hopefully in a safe place :-)

2nd Most Wonderful Time...

I love the fall. It's the most peaceful and amazing time of the year to me. The reds and yellows, wind-blown leaves and amazing views get me in such a driving mood that I find myself randomly going for hour long drives. There is nothing better than finding a never ending back road, taking 35 mph curves at 60 and watching the leaves fly into the air in your wake. There's nothing like getting a 1/2 mile straightaway on that road and watching the colors fly at you while Grover Washington Jr's "East River Drive" whispers in the background. I don't know why I love doing that so much; I just do. It's a great late Sunday morning thing to do. I think everyone should try it. Wake up, shower (or not), throw some comfy clothes on, get in the car with your favorite "pass the time drink" (mine is Sprite), and just drive until you feel like coming back home. I tend to drive places and roads I've never been at before. Now I'm a jazz person, but I also find that good Rock makes the drive awesome too. So whatever your favorite driving music is, pop in a CD and have a few more on deck (I try to stay away from the radio - satellite - because of the inopportune talking and/or commercials. I like to be in my groove).

A few things that I do intentionally; 1. No matter what happens on the road, EVERYONE gets a "road rage pass". It's a relaxing, enjoyable drive. As long as there are no accidents (because that would surely screw things up, LOL), who cares? 2. The intention of the drive has to be to see and experience the beauty of fall somewhere you haven't been before. I say intention because sometimes that's just not possible. 3. This is probably most important. At no time are you to answer the phone, do or think about work or introduce any stress into the ride. If you are having surgery the next day, release that for the drive and enjoy it. Having relationship problems? Forget them. Have tons of work to do? Not doing it while you're on your ride, so enjoy it.

It's important to me to find peace and enjoy life, regardless of the road that I may find tough to be on sometimes. Some choose meditation, reading, or starbucks cafes to unwind. I choose long, colorful, drives.

Table for.....one

It's strange. I did something last night that hundreds of millions of Americans do every single day and yet it seemed out of place; it seemed, simply put, strange. Probably because its been so, so long since I've done it. Or maybe because of the fact of how different things look now. Or maybe it's just a sign that life as I know it, unlike the stock market, has reached steady ground; a steady plateau if you will. The act, or acts, by now have to be something of a mystery, and borderline frustrating, to you because I haven't told you what I've done. So, I'll clue you in.

I went food shopping...

Yes, food shopping. And cooked dinner, and breakfast and made lunch. Now while some may simply stop reading (and I can feel the eyes rolling), its important to understand the significance of this. My fridge now only has about 35% alcohol and fast food on the shelves, as opposed to the 90% it did a day ago (only because I have leftover alcohol from a party and an Eagles game day event). I haven't cooked in a long, long time; not the way I passionately love to. I love to cook. Its the reason I someday want to open a restaurant. Because I LOVE TO COOK. But I have gotten away from cooking because of ease and convenience; I simply didn't have the time and when I did, I just didn't feel like it. But now, I have that renewed passion to cook again. To make my homemade soups and dishes with sauce creations like I used to what seems like years ago. Did I mention that I love to cook??? :-)

I have some "chef-like" things that I plan to purchase in the near future so that I can start having guests over to try some things on them (don't worry, I wont poison anyone). I want to use this as a launching pad for the restaurant I want to open in the future. My success depends solely on the foods I intend to create and the enjoyable flavor that they provide. So for my friends, new, old and ancient, get ready for some good eating soon...

Picture of.....

So, I was all set to do a post today about flatulence because of the massive amount of the substance I possess at this moment. But as I was preparing to login to the site to post I scanned my Gmail inbox and noticed an e-mail I sent to myself almost two weeks ago. The subject of the e-mail was "Wow" and the body simply had one line; a SI.com link. Upon clicking on it, I realized why. Two words, Milly Figuereo; an amazingly beautiful Tampa Bay Buccs cheerleader (don't worry, I'll provide the link later). I'm not someone who is typically blown away by a girl simply because she is a cheerleader. Trust me being a cheerleader alone doesn't blow me away. But this girl is smoking hott!!! Now she is 27 which is a tad outside my dating age range (well now anyway) of 28-32, but for her I'm sure I'd make an exception :-)

My tastes in women vary. What many find average, I find gorgeous. What many find stunning, I find average. To me it's the entire package. It's the looks, the personality, the intelligence, the maturity, the style; it's the complete person. I'm not shallow in that I would date someone simply because she is amazingly beautiful. I'm just not built that way. While I'll probably be single for a long time because I'm focused on my future and my future alone, if I am fortunate enough to meet someone who is on the same, or higher, professional and personal level as I am, it wouldn't be such a bad thing for her to look like Milly - by the way Milly is such a hott name LOL

Check her out here
I so need to visit the Dominican Republic :-P

Me first

I had an epiphany late last night while doing laundry. It occurred to me that I seem to be happier when I worry and care about myself instead of trying to do that for me and others at the same time. I think the root of the problem (issue) is honesty and trust. I rarely trust people, mainly because 90+% of the people I have trusted in my life have violated that trust; from ex-girlfriends to best friends to immediate family members. When I find myself not trusting someone because of something they did to violate my trust, it takes a long time and a lot of rebuilding for me to feel like I can trust them again (depending on what the violation was). But while doing laundry last night, I began to think about all the times in my life where I had that trust violated and how many times I forgave and moved on. The sad answer was, all of them. Then I thought, "how many times did that person do something else to violate that trust and/or did the relationship fail after the initial violation?" The answer was sickening; just about all of them. Family members continue to rebuild and receive that trust from me in some capacity, but others have lost it just about completely.

I decided last night that I wont trust anyone initially and make everyone earn that trust from the beginning. I'm also not going to be so naive about people. For example, I've had ex-girlfriends tell me, "you're the first person I've been with that I didn't cheat on" in multiple relationships. Well, those girlfriends either cheated on me or I discovered they planned to cheat on me. Yet somehow I was shocked and hurt, and my trust was shattered when I found out. That was me being naive and not learning from my past experiences and/or ignoring the obvious signs well before things happened. I've talked (literally out loud LOL) myself, on many occasions, into believing that the person wouldn't do what I sensed or felt and that I needed to let go of my trust issues and move on. I tend to make myself ignore flaws or tendencies that I've learned to be conscious of because I don't want to think that the "perfect person" for me has to actually be perfect, implying that somehow I am perfect; which I am absolutely not. Yet, I am almost always right! It's sad when you say, "I told you so" to yourself...But honestly, I'm an idiot. "The dumbest smart person" (I, Robot quote) many of you probably know. I freely admit it. I allow myself to remain in situations after my trust has been violated knowing that every bone in my body will completely change (immediately or over time) towards the person because of that violation. Disappointment, betrayal, anger, hurt, and countless other feelings and emotions slowly erode my feelings for the violator; not in terms of loving or caring for that person. But in terms of believing in the heart and spirit within the person; believing that the person can be trusted again. The person that I am and the life I have unfortunately (at times) lived through has made the impact of deceit, betrayal and manipulation immeasurable and my reaction to such things completely random. But my epiphany last night has me thinking that future reactions to such things should be definitive and completely self-preserving; especially in cases where the person who violated my trust knows my past and knows my issues with trusting people and yet still violates my trust anyway. In many ways, that person or persons show a lack of care and love for me; so what justification do I have for continuing to provide that for them? Oh I can come up with lots of reasons. I'm good at talking myself into doing things that are not in my best interest. That, ultimately, is the lesson learned; the summation of the epiphany. My best interests should always be put first; always. Otherwise, I am simply the guy everyone knows they can take advantage of because he is "too nice" to do what's right for himself.

People make mistakes everyday of their lives; I know I do. But to quote Omar Epps in Love & Basketball, "...some things should never [expletive] happen!". It's not going to be a one mistake and you're done thing. But it will be a "you violate my trust, you don't get it back" thing. I don't think asking for honesty and trust, by action, is too much to ask for...

Broken Promises...

What do you do when you're one where two should be?

What do you think when the fitting never happens and the pickups never occur?

Where do you go when there's no place for the reception and no destination to fly to?

Who do you call to cancel when you never had to send out RSVP's and no menu was prepared?

Why do you feel sad for something that was never gonna happen?

How do you feel when your wedding date comes and passes and there's no wedding?

Probably a lot like me...

Posted from my 3G iPhone

Shoppers Block

I don't get it. It's one of the hardest things for me to do; shopping. From clothes to furniture it seems to take me forever to choose something to buy. I'm a simple person (a friend of mine while shopping for bedroom furniture for me the other day called me "contemporary"); a person who prefers clean lines over vibrant arrays of colors, prefers khakis and collared shirt over something more risky. But lately, friends have convinced me to mix it up a little (well I have recruited them to shop for me LOL). I'm picky, and by picky I mean if you like spending hours window shopping and not reaching a buying decision, I'm your man LOL. It's tough for me to decide on clothes, or to buy something that might put me out of my comfort level; and with furniture, forget it. I didn't even choose the current bedroom set I have. I just went along with it because it wasn't a bad choice for the price. So, with the help of my friends and a little bit of my own creativity, my house and my wardrobe will see some improvements soon. It's time to dress like a 30 - eh hem - mature business man, which means the baldy might be making a comeback too :-)

Unfinished Business

I seem to have this problem; I start multiple projects and get to a point where none of them get finished until I intentionally deprive myself of sleep and/or the things that I enjoy doing. Often times I try to cram many activities into a weekend in order to get them all done. Monday night turns into a early bed night and Tuesday turns into recovery. Right now I have a basement finishing project and a website development project (with 4 more in line for when I finish that one) going on now. In the works I have an attic project, my own development projects, a deck project and a landscaping project. Somehow I have to fit all these into my daily schedule with all the games, vacations and playing football I have going on.

One of these days I'll figure out how not to spread myself thin....

Technology: Crack for the lazy?

As someone who makes a good living off the advances in the technological area, I find it funny sometimes how reliant/addicted to technology many are; including myself. In the last week I have spent over $100 on accessories (granted, they are needed) for my iPhone. Today, I considered buying another accessory for my iPhone for my car (a speaker system that can also charge my phone) which would cost me a little over $100. I have a huge battery issue with my iPhone and frequently find myself running out of juice and needing a charge; hence the consideration of the purchase. Now some might ask, "what am I doing that I have money to burn on iPhone accessories?". The answer is saving like I used to years ago - that will be another post topic LOL

I remember the last time I left my phone home accidentally. It's like walking around naked. No phone calls (although I rarely answer calls at work anyway), no text messages (get those all day LOL) and no e-mails (my iPhone actively checks, or pushes to, three e-mail accounts). So it was a weird day. But the ironic thing about that day; I had no missed calls, no text messages and the e-mails I got that day lacked urgency, or at least were not so important that I needed to read them as they were sent. So how is it that I get contacted so much when I have my phone, yet am hardly contacted at all when I forget it?

I digress...

For me, technology pays my bills, books my tee times, feeds me sushi and sends me on vacations. But it also makes my life more convenient. Think about it. You'd like to see your family more, right? I know I want to. But 24 hours just isn't enough time anymore. For those family members who are technically inclined, an e-mail or text maintains that contact, provides a "checkup" for you and tells them, "I can't get to you but I'm thinking about you". But technology also makes us lazy; makes me lazy. I just recently started wearing a pedometer on my hip at work to see how much walking I do on a typical day. I found out I walk 1.2 miles during the course of a day, which isn't much. I try to work out at home when I can. But I'm looking forward to finishing my basement because I have my eye on some fitness equipment to put down there (bench, weights and a treadmill - BTW treadmills are expensive!!).

Karl Marx once said, "The production of too many useful things results in too many useless people." Frank Lloyd Wright noted, "If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger." I am neither trying to become useless nor all thumbs :-)

Are you ready?

I can't begin to explain the level of football hype-ness I have right now. I saw an amazing blowout from great seats in Syracuse this past Saturday, played in a football game for the first time in a very long time and dominated - felt good to know that I still can play at a high level - and tonight my Birds will be playing against the hated and overrated Cowboys on Monday Night Football. Can it get any better than this??!!!

E-A-G-L-E-S-EAGLES!!!!!

Weekend Getaways

I've been looking forward to getting away for some time. I'm taking a mini-weekend trip up to New York (state) to hang out in Syracuse. Hopefully this rain will hold off because I've got some serious tailgating to do tomorrow and some partying to do tomorrow night. This weekend is going to be sick!!!

An old friend gave me a call the other night and offered me a vacation spot to a place to be determined and a time to be negotiated. Better believe I said yes. If it's a island, you know I'm game LOL

And I just realized that I'll be headed to Mazatlan, Mexico the end of November. Talk about winding down a ridiculously tough 2008. It's going to finish with the Roots concert in late December and NYE in a place yet to be revealed. ;-)

After this weekend, its full speed ahead on getting my basement ("The Nest") completed in the next month. I'll post some pics up shortly. Party to follow :-)

I see trees of green, red roses too.....

I love days like today; rolling towering pillowing clouds, carribean-blue-water sky, and the afternoon off from work to spend with great company. Everybody needs a day like today; no stress or drama, nothing to worry about and all day to enjoy things.

I wish everyone a day like today :-)

Posted from my iPhone. Pics to follow (maybe LOL)

Just say it...

I just finished watching "The Bucket List" and, mainly because I cry for all touching movies but partially because of my current mental state, I shed a few tears at the end. I've watched this movie twice and both times it got me thinking about my future (both planning and mortality) as well as my present and past. There are so many things I want to accomplish during my life; a successful business, a successful restaurant, a mid-sized family, a beautiful home (physically and the home inside the home), early retirement and, despite the events of 2008 and my rebellious reaction to the pain in my heart (including my recent harsh words regarding relationships and marriage), an amazing connection with the woman I am fortunate enough to call my wife someday.

So I'm going to make sure that, even though many say I am too blunt and forward, I leave no feeling unrevealed and no personal opinion unshared when it affects me. They say you only get one life to live. My opinion is different than the accepted norm. But in this life, I'd like to try to put myself first for the rest of it so that I can accomplish the things I'm working towards.

"You measure yourself by the people who measure themselves by you."

This was a great song on "The Bucket List" soundtrack:

John Mayer
Say what you need to say

Take all of your wasted honor.
Every little past frustration.
Take all of your so called problems,
Better put 'em in quotations.

Say what you need to say (x8)

Walkin' like a one man army,
Fightin' with the shadows in your head.
Livin' up the same old moment
Knowin' you'd be better off instead

If you could only...Say what you need to say (x8)

Have no fear for givin' in.
Have no fear for giving over.
You better know that in the end
It's better to say too much, than never to say what you need to say again.

Even if your hands are shaking,
And your faith is broken.
Even as the eyes are closin',
Do it with a heart wide open.

Say what you need to say (x7)

Say what you need to, Say what you need to...

Say what you need to say.

Independent Politics?

The closer November comes the more and more annoyed I become with the entire political process. I get sick of inaccuracies being publicized as fact and people simply falling in line, like sheep on a farm, believing everything they read, hear and see without fact checking for their own benefit and knowledge. I get annoyed with the media reporting things about the candidates, making huge issues of them, that ultimately mean little to me in determining whether the candidate can and will do the job this country and the world needs them to do. As an independent, my vote doesn't really matter until November, but my opinion (choice) is quickly becoming more and more solidified with each passing day. Right now, my vote would be for Obama/Biden. Their job for the next two months; prove my choice right. The McCain/Palin job for the next two months; tell me how what you intend to do is better than what Obama/Biden intent to do.

I want specifics from the candidates. Enough of the long-winded rhetoric that simply serves to spark applause or provide a headline. Tell me what you are going to do specifically. I had a conversation with a co-worker last week and he brought up Ross Perot, who was fresh with his ideas and provided specifics for what he wanted to do; in many ways he was what people think Obama is today. I want a debate between the presidential candidates where they outline specifics for the economy, healthcare, Iraq, taxes, etc and compare and contrast the two plans. And/Or have each candidate do a one hour presentation of their plan without contrasting it with their opponents plan. Just tell me what you are gonna do. Let the nation watch, have the networks put the specifics side by side and analyse to their hearts content and let the voters decide who has the better plan.

Either way, I am going to vote to elect the person I feel will address the issues that matter to me; as everyone should. I urge anyone who reads this, research credible sources (such as factcheck.org or politifact.com), review the facts and make a determination on your choice for president based on what the ticket will do positively for this country and the world. Don't listen to CNN, Fox and all the other talking heads; decide for yourself. Forget party affiliations and your friends, put biases and ignorance aside and make a decision for you and your fellow man. "I am my brothers keeper" doesn't just sound good in a Wesley Snipes movie. We need to shed our selfishness and start doing what's best for humanity. "Turn the other cheek" only works if one person starts to do it; then others believe they can too. Once one of us thinks that we can help our fellow man, others will too.

The mind is a terrible thing to clog up

Have you ever felt like you needed a mental timeout? Every so often you look up and realize that you haven't taken a mental break in what seems like forever. For me, there are a handful of things that I can do to give my mind a reset and refocus.

Months ago there was this thing called Lazy Sunday's I used to do with someone. It didn't involve any one particular thing and could range from laying in bed all day to taking a drive to vegging on Pizza Hut boneless wings. It allowed me to take a break from the grind of work or the physical exertion of sports and just relax for one day. It also reinforced the connection I had with that person and slowed down the highway that operated inside my head.

Massages are one of those things that allows me to push out all my stress and worry and give my mind a venue for complete ease. There's nothing better than a deep tissue massage with soothing melodies filling the air. I always fall asleep and the total release I feel after I'm done puts me in a place saturated with calm and peace.

Shooting Pool, although not physically rewarding in a relaxing sense, allows me to focus all my attention on geometry and physics (math and physics being my two favorite subjects) and centers my thoughts. I walk into a pool hall, put my ear buds in my ear, set my iPhone on random smooth music (Jazz, Classic R&B, etc) and let the music and my pool abilities put everything in perspective. Pool is my counselor, when those close to you let you down or abandon you. It helps me forgive, heal and accept people for who they are. See, each ball on the table has a purpose; much like each person in your life serves a purpose for you and you for them. Just like in life when that purpose has run its course you have the option of keeping that ball on the table or trying (and sometime failing) to remove that person from your life and moving on to the next purpose. Every so often a single person has multiple purposes in your life, and even though you thought that by sinking that "cut shot" that balls' purpose had run it's course, you realize that the ball was just one of many steps in the course that is that persons purpose for being in your life; maybe the majority of the balls on the table are all linked to the same person as well. This is how pool clears my head. It puts life into perspective. If a single purpose can be associated with a ball, then for each game there are many purposes for potentially many people. But if you think about it, there are times when a pool game ends and there are balls remaining on the table. Perhaps these are purposes that last beyond the scope of just one part of your life. In that case, focusing on what a person means to you will make it easier to determine whether or not that person should be in your life or not; ultimately, whether to put that purpose in the pocket and move on or not.

Golf has become my mental escape and motivator at the same time. I now golf more than any activity I do (yes, including that activity LOL - but that is more due to not taking the opportunity for other activities than not having opportunity at all). Golf has challenged me athletically in ways I haven't been challenged since high school. Sports come easy to me. Like my professional life, I'm good at what I do. Speed, game smarts, sport-specific talent; I possess them all. But golf isn't about how athletic you are. It's about how mentally tough you are. It only takes one hole to turn a great round into a crappy round. You can go into a hole 5-under par, make one mistake and find yourself 4-over par 4 holes later. In poker its called, "being on TILT". In golf, its what causes you to miss 4 foot birdies and slice tee shots in the water. Golf is a game of focus, endurance and skill. I can find myself physically exhausted but mentally energized after a round of golf because of the focus and dedication needed to be successful.

This weekend, I will be employing all of the activities I've mentioned except Lazy Sunday will have slight changes to it. It's important to give your mind a mental recharge; a straight line to walk on a sober night. Daily ups and downs, emotional stresses, relationship difficulties, life decisions and more all cloud your mind and slowly transform you away from who you are and what's most important to you - you. Refocus your mind any and every chance you get.

Go EAGLES!!! :-)

Begin each day as if it were on purpose

What seems like a long time ago I sat in a movie theater and watched "Hitch", a movie staring Will Smith portraying a consultant who's job was to "help men get out of their own way". While I don't claim to have all the answers, there are times I feel like I get in my own way; especially considering recent changes in my life. But my mistakes are lessons I learn (and hopefully improve on) and try to use as I continue to grow and become the man I am destined to be. I try to be the same person to everyone and try to live in a way that honors the lessons and guidance my grandmother instilled in me; but I am not perfect.

Each day I find myself fortunate enough to rise (assuming I haven't pulled one of my insanely infamous all-nighters LOL) I try to be a good man and a good friend. These thoughts are prompted by the losses some of my friends have endured as recently as this week and by the connection I have lost with my best friend this year. My friends have lost a father, a grandfather, an aunt, a cousin and a few close friends this year. It reminds me that although you face difficulties and tough times with those you love, never let that bond be torn apart. Sometimes you need to just let things go, or sit and talk things out, to begin the healing process. But many times, a duration of time apart, or separation, reminds you that some bonds never lose their strength; and it makes communication easier.

That's what is important to me; those who I call my friends. I would lay down on train tracks for my friends. I cherish those I let in and I want to be there for them the best way I know how. The bond of friendship, and more importantly the connection with best friends, means more to me than any thing else. Life is too short to not figure out what's wrong and if it's worth the effort to save that bond and/or that connection. Even if in the end, the answer is no, never walk away without putting it all on the table. Leave nothing unsaid and no feeling unrevealed. Sometimes, what's kept inside is more important than what's said.

With great power comes great disappointment

There are going to be days like this one in your life. For me, this is the third time in my life I've woken up to a day like today. The first two times were magnitudes easier to deal with compared to this morning. You see love is a powerful, powerful thing. It will make you try things you never thought you'd try. It will make you change who you are for who you are with. It will make you pour out your soul and then have you mop it up yourself. Love, when mutual and pure is simply the most beautiful thing on this planet. However, Love can blindside you and set your heart into a spiral of depression, worthlessness and despair. Love can be the most disappointing facilitator of them all.

Today, remember this above all things. If Love were enough, today would not be happening. Somewhere on the road to eternal happiness, Love and bliss, Love became just another thing that was needed to make things work instead of the thing that drove everything else to work. Unfortunately, it also became the only thing needed that was truly identified...