Instant Replay, a game changer in the NFL; avoided by simply going no huddle and running any play you can think of. A necessary part of football with so many bodies flying around and the impossibility of seeing everything. It works in the NFL because its use it intended to fix the ultimate wrongs; mistakes that can change the outcome of the game. But what about other sports? What about parts of our lives where instant replay could be of great use? Here's my top 10 areas where instant replay should find a way to be implemented:
10. Down goes streaker!!! Down goes streaker!!!
Ever go to a game and suddenly your eyes are drawn to someone who had finally decided that now was the moment to run on the field. I understand the draw; in most states its only a misdemeanor - and really it should be on everyone's sports bucket list, right? But what is deserving of replay all the time is when the streaker is taken out by the security or a player who just stuck his shoulder out and just plants the guy (its usually a guy). The streaker is never some 345 pound guy who's agile. It's always some shirtless 140 pounder who zig zags his way for a few minutes until the inevitable "bam!" happens and the guy just gets rocked off his feet.
9. What goes around...
There are times that I advocate beating the crap out of children, be it publicly or privately; sometimes they simply deserve it. Especially when you see that one mean f*** who is blatantly disrespectful to their parents or picks on other kids. I love when the parent just has enough and snatches the kid so hard you thought you actually saw a trail of that kids life behind him for a second. Then the kid just gets it, and the tears start flowing. Its that face the kid makes just as he/she realizes that they are about to get jacked up that I love. And then the defeated, I just got my ass whooped, look on their face afterwards....ahhhhhh justice.
8. Walking used to be easy...
Ever just walk into something? A wall, a glass door (damn you Windex!) or better yet a screen door? I used to have a screen door on my back door to my house; the sliding kind. Not anymore, because people kept walking into it. I don't know how it happened so many times, but people would actually walk full stride into it. I thought about pinning a sign saying, "Screen in place!" so that it would stop, but the door got damaged before I could (yes by someone walking into it LOL). I remember having a conversation with someone through the door and they heard their cell ring. So they went running inside, right into the screen door. Oh I replay that one in my head sometimes just to see their face - the utter shock and temporary confusion about what to do next LOL
7. Watch your step!
Ok, so this may be the meanest of the top 10. Have you ever seen someone running across the street and just as they are about to jump up on the curb, gravity exerts its powerful influence, rendering the height they lifted their leg lacking of the required height necessary. What following is a symphony of chaos as they futilely try to stay upright: whoa-hoa-hoa-whhhoooaaa splat! Papers go flying, cell phones crashing, and they attempt to become gymnastically inclined by rolling into the fall only to make it worse. You, try your hardest to maintain calmness only to blow snot into your hand from trying not to laugh...
6. I swear officer! I swear!
Who hasn't been pulled over for running a light and tried telling the cop, "It was yellow when I went into the intersection"? Wouldn't it be nice if there was a frame by frame replay you could do, from your viewpoint, looking at the light? Obviously I'm not talking about the red light cameras at some intersections. I'm talking mini cameras mounted to your car. That way you can go, "see! it was yellow!". The obvious downside is if the replay is upheld and you did run it LOL.
5. Boom-Boom-POW!
Now I may lose half of my audience on this one, but there is something about a woman with strong legs and a serious power walk that just puts me in a trance. I'm talking the hips are rockin like a little man is sitting on her shoulders counting out a beat (1-2-3! 1-2-3! 1-2-3!) and another little man is closely following her just tapping each cheek, on that same beat, so that they ripple just enough and her shoulders flow like a see-saw revealing just a shadow of what you're missing by staring at her ass. It's like when Jeniffer Lopez walked to the door to let in Michael Keaton in "Out of Sight". Tear drop....tear drop...
4. You're outta here!
This probably happens 700 - 800 times a year. A runner slides into or runs to a base and is called out or safe and TV replay shows the opposite to be true. They introduced replays for home runs, why not the same for close plays at the plate at least, or all bases. If it can change the game, replay it.
3. How the hell did I get here...?
We've all had one of those nights where we wake up the next day thankful that we made it home. We've also had mornings where we woke up next to someone who didn't have the benefit of beer goggles anymore or had a voicemail from a friend saying how much of an ass we were the night before. Wouldn't it be nice if you could replay those nights to see if maybe the beast you woke up next to slipped you a mickey or if you really told your best friends fiance that he slept with someone else two weeks before when you were all hanging out? Or even better, how the liquid confidence got you that hottie you've been lusting after for months. File that one under, "Yeah, there's a captain in me too".
2. Oh my god!
Remember "What Women Want", staring Mel Gibson as the guy who can hear the thoughts of women (by the way I'd jump off a bridge, slitting my throat on the way down, if I could actually hear the insanity running through the mind of all women LOL)? There was a scene with Marisa Tomei (hottie!) where they have this amazing sex (in fact, she just keeps saying "Amazing!" after they are done) because he can hear how she wants it and where from her thoughts. Hopefully some of you have had mind shattering sex at least once, but preferably more than once. Wouldn't it be great to replay that instantly - and no I'm not talking about video taping it, although to each their own ;-). I know people who know me must be surprised that this is number 2, but it can't always be about the sexual experience with me :-P
1. Uncontrollable...
We all have those cherished moments when something happens so unexpected with family, friends, partners, etc; unexpected hilarious moments. One such moment happened with my dad this past weekend. I have never, ever seen my dad laugh uncontrollable. Ever. We were playing Taboo (great game if you've never played) and he was giving the clues to myself and my cousin (guys versus girls game). The word was snacks and so he said, "potato chips", over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again until time expired. Once we realized it was snacks, he said, "That's the only snack I eat!" and we all started cracking up. For some reason the more seconds that past, the funnier it got until we laughed uncontrollable for about 3 minutes. You have to know my dad to understand why uncontrollable laughter is just not something that he does. I get my laid back, controlled persona mainly from him. That's my number one reason to have replays in life. That's a moment that will replay in my head forever.
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