The Paradox called Love

I haven't posted in a long, long time, but I felt the need to share this thought I found on love, compatibility and understanding oneself. Thoughts?

"In this entire world, there might be 5 potentially compatible mates for each of us. So part of finding the right person is being the right person (for them).

Out of those 5 potentials we might love one more than any other, which then presents a different dilemma. Did we truly love the first one? Then of course we start to second guess ourselves and everything goes pear shaped. That can't be any better than the original predicament.

It just seems so paradoxical sometimes.

A different perspective (some call it a paradigm shift).

In mature love relationships, we know (after doing deep meaningful soul searching) that love is a gift that we have to offer, and we negotiate with a potential partner to have this love returned, and to grow together as a couple. Thus, my present theory that people don't fall in love, they grow in love. To me there is a significant difference. Falling in love (as a concept) is different in that people 'outgrow' certain types of relationships. In the beginning, she says she is falling in love with you, and when it is over, she says she has outgrown the relationship. She says she doesn't need you any more. They have confused dependency needs with romantic love. So, in reflection, when she originally said she was falling in love with you, I would hear her saying she needs you. And that's not a bad thing, it is like any other experience, an opportunity to learn about ourselves and to grow as a person.

Every relationship we have brings us back to ourselves, it gives us this chance to learn more about ourselves and to grow as a person. That gives us an awareness that we, in fact, have more to offer our next potential partner. But of course, we are still on a quest to find that 'one true love'.

One philosopher said when we discover our one true love, it's like we have discovered ourselves. The first person we see in a relationship, is ourselves, reflected in our one true love, and they see themselves in us. In Greek Mythology, this is the story of the Androgynes.

There needs to be congruency and people should resolve issues before they can honestly hope to have a meaningful relationship. Make yourself as transparent as possible in relationships if you truly hope to find true love."

I think the author (with a few adjustments on my own) hits the nail on the head; especially about falling in love.